13 June 2010

fAArmville (not so) Anonymous; a 12-step program


STEP 1... I am powerless over crows, the weeds have become unmanageable.

STEP 2... Came to believe that only buying 100 bales of hay could get us the Pack Rat blue ribbon.

STEP 3... Made a decision to harvest all our fruit trees and animals at the same time every day.

STEP 4... Made a searching and greedy profitability chart of all trees, animals and crops.

STEP 5... Admitted to ourselves and our family that we must go to work, must shower, must eat and must sleep at least four hours a night.

STEP 6... Were entirely ready to pay extra coin to expand to Family Farm without buying the smaller expansion first.

STEP 7... Humbly waited for the *@€!&! rabbit to be ready to harvest. (And by “Humbly” we mean secretly hoped a rabbit harvest meant culling lucky rabbits' feet for sale at our souvenier/fruit stand.)

STEP 8... Made a list of all FarmVille fans not yet our neighbor and became willing to add these total strangers as friends.

STEP 9... Immediately took a photo of their farm, except when we have the Shutterbug ribbons complete.

STEP 10... Continued to adopt all the brown cows and black sheep and, when we had more than we had room for, sold off the less valuable jerseys and regular sheep.

STEP 11... Having built a fruit stand, barn, well, tool shed and workshop, we gave in and erected the phallic grain silo (but hid it behind the barn, so only the top sticks out) to get the Architect ribbon.

STEP 12... Having orchestrated the perfect daily planting & harvesting routine, we constantly click on neighbors’ farms in the hopes of raking leaves and, when bored, regularly rotated our farmer’s hairstyle.

Keep coming back. It works if you till it.

Putting down the hoe, and continuing the search,

Ps. Everyone level 23 and above automatically has the coffee commitment!

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